There are many things very present on my mind lately, and they all are about my future, it goes from thoughts about how much effort should I do to make my hair longer, to what, where and how should I choose my life's professional field , the amount of books I want to read to get a clearer view about another complicated case, Improving myself, to why am I even alive?! what am I worth of ?! who am I! and who am I supposed to live my life with?!
weird...huh?!
But anyway, I decided to sit along with my brain and have a little chitchat like the grown ups we are "kinda", and figure all that out.
And because my brain is sometimes "all the times" acting like the one of a 5 years old spoiled brat, we didn't get to much.
But, we ended up making randomly a list of what we called the minimum criteria to making a decision.
and let's start with my hair !
Why do I want it longer ?! It has something to do with the image I have of the traditional Arab woman : You know , long hair, dark features and a sweet tanned skin !
Now this might have a lot to do with Jasmine from Aladdin and the whole Disney manipulative child minds destructive programs, and in the end I'm not even sure if I'm at least 5% Arab, and having long hair won't mean anything with my ghost-like white skin and light features.
But, this gives me a breather to express my self as someone with a background culture , that is supposed to be Algerian, and that leads me to think that I'm trying to identify myself somewhere, anywhere, because actually I'm lost and I have no culture to stick on.
The thing is I have been always fascinated with anything traditional , from food to cloths to the dark circles of Khol I apply everyday, as if I'm trying to scream off the roofs that I'm Algerian and proud!
And despite the fact that Algeria isn't technically an Arabic country "thanks God for that", and that I'm not technically an Amazigh, and despite the whole confusing concept of being an Algerian,
being born here is just a coincidence, maybe a very bad one, as i might have been more productive in another country, and more happy.
George Carlin says , that we can't be proud of what we never made, and I never made myself be born in Algeria.
So how does people in my country define pride?! hostility to anyone who beat us in a football game?! some irrational love to the flag?!Going to live in England and avoiding pigs meat?! to me, this is just like the long hair .. doesn't make any sense as the other ingredients to express the Algerianity are absent.no real loyalty toward the country they steal, break, abuse, and sell.No real expressions of love, no respect for the land nor for those who died for it.Just a piece of dead cells on the head.
Oh well,I ended having a short cut .. that saves my time and my shampoo and lot of my pride.
weird...huh?!
But anyway, I decided to sit along with my brain and have a little chitchat like the grown ups we are "kinda", and figure all that out.
And because my brain is sometimes "all the times" acting like the one of a 5 years old spoiled brat, we didn't get to much.
But, we ended up making randomly a list of what we called the minimum criteria to making a decision.
and let's start with my hair !
Why do I want it longer ?! It has something to do with the image I have of the traditional Arab woman : You know , long hair, dark features and a sweet tanned skin !
Now this might have a lot to do with Jasmine from Aladdin and the whole Disney manipulative child minds destructive programs, and in the end I'm not even sure if I'm at least 5% Arab, and having long hair won't mean anything with my ghost-like white skin and light features.
But, this gives me a breather to express my self as someone with a background culture , that is supposed to be Algerian, and that leads me to think that I'm trying to identify myself somewhere, anywhere, because actually I'm lost and I have no culture to stick on.
The thing is I have been always fascinated with anything traditional , from food to cloths to the dark circles of Khol I apply everyday, as if I'm trying to scream off the roofs that I'm Algerian and proud!
And despite the fact that Algeria isn't technically an Arabic country "thanks God for that", and that I'm not technically an Amazigh, and despite the whole confusing concept of being an Algerian,
being born here is just a coincidence, maybe a very bad one, as i might have been more productive in another country, and more happy.
George Carlin says , that we can't be proud of what we never made, and I never made myself be born in Algeria.
So how does people in my country define pride?! hostility to anyone who beat us in a football game?! some irrational love to the flag?!Going to live in England and avoiding pigs meat?! to me, this is just like the long hair .. doesn't make any sense as the other ingredients to express the Algerianity are absent.no real loyalty toward the country they steal, break, abuse, and sell.No real expressions of love, no respect for the land nor for those who died for it.Just a piece of dead cells on the head.
Oh well,I ended having a short cut .. that saves my time and my shampoo and lot of my pride.
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